This is really the main thing you need to know about a house before you buy.
(Forgive me a moment of former-lawyer nerdity - there is in fact a famous NY court case, Stambovsky v. Ackley, in which the plaintiff bought a house and only later found out it was supposedly haunted. He then sued the former owner, wanting to undo the sale. You’d think the former owner could just go, “pffft, no, there’s no such things as ghosts,” right? But no! They’d previously given newspaper interviews saying they believed in the ghost, which meant they were estopped from denying the ghost now, which meant — the judges declared, settling in for a long deliberation — the house was haunted as a matter of law. They let the plaintiff out of the sale. This is all 100% true.)
I’ve reblogged this picture before but not with the story of the legally-haunted house attached to it…
okay, so not only is this way legit, but the court’s majority opinion was FULL OF GHOST PUNS, thus elevating this to the Greatest Thing Ever To Happen.
first of all can we deal with the greatest sentence ever written by any judge since the beginning of time:
"as a matter of law, the house is haunted"
and that is not even touching the puns
"no divination is required to conclude that it is defendant’s promotional efforts…which fostered the home’s reputation"
"plaintiff hasn’t a ghost of a chance"
"i am moved by the spirit of equity"
"applying caveat emptor to a contract involving a house…conjures up visions"
"lest the subject of the transaction come back to haunt him and his client"
"the notion…is a hobgoblin which should be exorcised from the body of legal precedent and laid quietly to rest"
and then this motherfucker quotes hamlet
"pity me not but lend thy serious hearing to what i shall unfold (william shakespeare, hamlet, act i, scene v [ghost])"
"a very practical problem arises with respect to the discovery of a paranormal phenomenon: ‘who you gonna call?’"
god bless that judge
"As a matter of law, the house is haunted": one of the great sentences in American jurisprudence.